Professor Humperdink III
Kulu throwing Ameena
Stopped off in Wendou Nody for some girl juggling. My old friend Kulu, his young sister, Ameena, and the rest of the tribe, joined in and we juggled all afternoon. Afterwards, Kulu and his wife, Shelley, invited me to stay for dinner. I changed into evening dress. Aminata, Kulu's neice, posed for a photograph, which she made me promise to pass on to Aunt Humperdink, for her hat collection. The next morning, Kulu offered to keep me company, for a few miles. After a hearty breakfast of boiled monkey brains, roasted giant tree slugs, and a good cup of warm lizard blood, we said goodbye to everyone, donned our disguises and headed into the jungle.
After the reception, I went into town. Before heading onwards, I asked Sven for directions, but he has been living here too long and, totally bonkers, wasn’t very helpful. Fortunately, lunch arrived.
Professor Humperdink’s Diary
Spent the last few days day travelling to the local airport. In this remote area, transport is very slow, but I arrived in time for the flight.
Professor Humperdink III demonstrates his new mud pack system. Cover yourself with wet dirt to achieve the same total skin care effect. Take care not to spend too long in the direct sunlight, or your mud pack might dry out and become a permanent feature.
The smallest thing is Tim
Everything is bigger than him.
He is really annoyed.
Dear Dr. Scharf
Count von Schlippen-Schlappen ate the last lilac swan egg at a car windscreen wiper convention in Berlin, hosted by the Count’s brother, the well-known industrialist, Marshall Schlippen-Schlappen. The count subsequently claimed the privilege of consuming the lesser-spotted titmouse, whilst dining with his maternal uncle, General Schlippen-Schlappen. "Consuming the last example of a species has been a family tradition going back as far as we can trace." The Count boasts. The Schlippen-Schlappen family crest represents the feet of the three-footed bunting, served to Archduke Schlippen-Schlappen, after hunting on the lands surrounding a family castle owned by Prince Schlippen-Schlappen of Bulgaria, notable for arranging rare species feasts that became notorious and were stopped, after the scandal. The family motto is ‘Nahrung, Aufgabe, Löschung’. The Count’s grandfather, Duke Rudolph Schlippen-Schlappen, who had it served with butter and diced pork, dined upon the last egg of the great auk. Duke Rudolph’s son ate the last dodo egg, lightly scrambled, and now, with Count von Schlippen-Schlappen continuing the family custom, the lilac swan is no longer extant.
I hope this helps,