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24.12.08

Suez Canal

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Stop off to pick up some of our Indian agents and my old friends, Ki and Poi, recipients of aunt Humperdink’s Hat Design Endowment Fund, hitching a lift to Jock Black’s party, to show off their latest creations.  Juan joins us as we enter Lake Timsah.  We load some vintage Tobermory, Mortlach, Tomintoul, Bummahabhainn, Aberfeldy and, to be on the safe side, several barrels of The Macallan, and wave goodbye to Ki and Poi, who, along with the Indian agents, when they realised that Juan was going to sail with us, leapt overboard.  We sail a very short distance when, raising our glasses to offer a toast and lighting cigars, to celebrate, Juan ignites the whisky fumes.  This is typical of Juan and a few minutes later, when we crash down into the canal, I feel moved to observe that, although the water tastes pleasantly malty, the loss of vintage whisky is enough to make a Highlander eat his sporran in despair. 


Now, dementedly flailing around, taking deep draughts of whisky-enhanced canal water, surrounded by stunned, befuddled, fish, splashing hysterically and filling the air with fountains and bubbles of malt, singing carols, cheering and shouting season’s greetings to all our friends, we flounder on, as fast as we possibly can.


Professor Humperdink’s Diary