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12.12.08

Up and away

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In order to travel faster, at the next town, we stop to buy camels. Unfortunately, John turns up and tells us that he managed to exchange the big candle, which was unwieldy, for a smaller but more valuable candle, but the delivery system was disorganized so he traded it for an old manuscript, which he exchanged for a consignment of pears that, when they are delivered, will pay for the house that we wanted, which we can then exchange for some camels. We tell him that we don’t need a house to buy camels, but he tells us that we are missing out on a wonderful opportunity as the price of camels is going up all the time and the property we’ve chosen is sure to double in price as soon as we throw the people out and he will only charge fifty percent, plus administration charges, exchange charges, expenses and standard fees which, because he lost the ancient manuscript, includes the house, the pears and the camels, and that, he shouts, is the best deal we are likely to hear today.  We give up trying to explain that we never wanted, and did not choose, a house in the first place and Mahalath, smiling and nodding, but whispering to me that she thinks that John is completely insane, pulls me away.


We have no intention of waiting for John to turn pears into camels, so we borrow the first means of transport we come across then, lurching into the sky, raising our bowls, filled with Juan’s Special Reserve, we offer toast after toast to the peace and harmony of this holy land, and drinking to the health and happiness of all our friends who helped make our stay so much fun, cheering and, shouting with excitement, we slide into the sky and away, as fast as we possibly can.


Professor Humperdink’s Diary