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26.1.09

Humperdinkshu

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Juan, looking at my pictures of the sea, says they stink.  I tell him this is unsurprising considering I made the paints from the dye of old robes, which I extracted by tearing up the robes and soaking them in camel’s urine, beside which, I point out, I’ve been looking at the desert, and disagreeable camels, for so long that I’ve forgotten what the sea looks like.  Juan agrees, saying that while having ones home on the back of a camel has a lot of advantages; the fact is that women often get disappointed when you invite them round for dinner and they have to accommodate themselves to a very small house and a bad-tempered camel.  Discussing this further, we decide that, as we are chimpishly behind schedule, it would be useful to travel in something faster, and with room for guests.  Accordingly, we call into Humperdinkshu, aunt Humperdink’s village on the way to Humperdinkadad, where we are delighted to find that a new whisky intake valve has been placed on the nose of The Lion and, seeing that it has a nice new dining area, we give our camels away, borrow the aircraft and, cheering and singing and toasting the health and happiness of all our friends in the Unknown Region, we take to the air and sweep through the sky to Humperdkinkadad, as fast as we possibly can.


Professor Humperdink’s Diary