We call in to see Matt who, checking on the flow of malt, tells us that steward’s quarters are not receiving enough Knockando, the smoking rooms are low on Lagavulin, the state rooms are having trouble receiving enough Fettercairn, the game rooms are only getting a trickle of Glenlossie, the dining saloon’s supply of Caperdonich is fluctuating badly and state rooms aren’t getting any Bunnahabhainn at all. Matt explains that the stokers who stoke the boiler that drives the malt through the ship are tired and emotional after Juan gave them some barrels of his new batch of Special Reserve. The idea of the passengers and crew being short of single malt is distressing and we immediately join the stokers and help them get the furnace up to full blast. After only a few hours stoking we can tell, by the cheering and singing that resounds throughout the ship, that normal supplies have been resumed.
Although we are delighted with the results of our efforts, it does not alter the fact that we are adolescently behind schedule and, having no choice, we borrow another aeroplane from Ropkind Scharf and, a little sooty and very befuddled, we head for Humperdinkadad as fast as we possibly can.
Professor Humperdink’s Diary