We introduce ourselves and offer him some malt; he takes the whisky gratefully and tells us that his name is Brian and that he is Jack’s cousin. They had been working on Dirk’s continuum machine, he says, when Jack spilled a quantity of
Brian say that that explains everything as, because Angus’s father and grandfather played the part of Mrs Mouse, and, in their own time, brought such intelligence and integrity to the character as illumined their generation. Angus’s family’s reputation rests upon Angus providing an inspirational Mrs Mouse, imbued with deep wit and great grace, and his task is made even more difficult, I point out, as, during the first six acts, Mrs Mouse is huddled in a corner, fast asleep, only flicking her tail twice, in the third act. Juan says that, in the seventh act, Mrs Mouse does raise her head, twitch her ears and squeak three times. This, we all agree, affords little opportunity to portray the gravitas, clarity and strength of character of Mrs Mouse. There is also the fact that the audience’s attention to Mrs Mouse is diverted by the entrance of Mr Khorkhoy, the Mongolian death worm.
However, wishing Angus the best of luck, and saluting Dirk’s valiant work on his broken time machine and, given the fact that we seem to be further down the food chain than we would like, we drink toast after toast to the survival of all the wildlife, but hope that, in the evolvement race, the best man wins. Juan tells Brian that we have been slattishly delayed and ask the way to Humperdinkadad. He says that it’s in the centre of the Unknown Region. This isn’t helpful so, leaving Brian our reserve Balvenie, Springbank and Glenfiddich flasks, for medicinal purposes, and our flasks of Cragganmore, Bowmore and Balvenie, if he needs more medicine, we say goodbye and stagger straight into another swamp. Chased by wild animals, shouting and screaming and yelling for help, bamboozled, lost, confused, befuddled and slurrishly behind schedule, we paddle around in terrified circles, as fast as we possibly can.
Professor Humperdink’s Diary