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10.2.09

Logan

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Still lost; fall through a door into a room, to ask directions, delighted to find Logan, from, Nairn, standing in front of a rack of clocks.  Juan asks him why he has so many clocks.  Logan explains that he made one clock, which was linked to Glen's measuring device, but one clock could go wrong, so he built another clock, however, the second clock appeared to be going very slightly slower than the first clock, so he made a third clock, to check the second clock against, but then he needed a fourth clock, to check the third clock, and things kept escalating from there, now, he says, all his time is taken up in building more clocks and checking them against each other and, to make matters more difficult, every time Dirk’s time reversal machine is switched on, all the clocks go backwards and he has to change them all again, which, he tells us, is an irksome job. 

Juan says that he understands, and launches into a story about when we were cleaning Big Ben’s clock in London, and shoved the little hand forward an hour, to get the job done quicker, then, I remind him, when we had finished the job, we put it two hours back, to claim the overtime.  The following day the clocks officially went back an hour anyway, because of British Summer Time, so it all worked out, we got the job done in seven hours and got paid for nine, so it was all very satisfactory and, because all the English clocks use Big Ben as a reference, nobody could say it was wrong. 

Suddenly there is a slight shimmering and we hear Bobby shouts “Oh no, it’s happening again!”  He asks us to stay and help adjust his clocks but we explain that we are perturbingly behind schedule and, opening a barrel of Glenfiddich, we offer toast after toast to Logan’s success and, tumbling backwards, we teeter on, as fast as we possibly can.

Professor Humperdink’s Diary