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Paste for Unbea


Still lost; decide to head for Mount Humperdink, to get a good view of the land.

Worried about the schedule, I mention that I don’t have the time to get to the Solomon Islands, to pick up some of Seena and Tele’s coral paste, for Unbea.  Juan says that, although it won’t be as good as Tele and Seena’s paste, we can make paste from Silicicalcareous rocks and single malt. 

Quickly squeezing some of our bagpipe seasoning onto the ground, and igniting the vile, highly flammable, goo by banging flints together, we create very satisfying explosions that reduce the rocks to dust which, mixed with Vintage Balmenach, to give it an attractive aroma, makes an excellent paste, with a wonderful taste.  The only drawback is that the silicated dust has makes us cough, sneeze, and wheeze so much that, when we try to celebrate the making of Unbea’s new paste, we collapse, breathless, after the sixteenth Highland reel.  Juan, between gasps, points out that we are pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosisishly behind schedule, but that trying to rescue Mahalath, in this condition, is a waste of time.  Jock and I agree, and, to flush our systems of the poisonous silicon, we open a barrel of Juan’s Special Medicinal Reserve, which he keeps for such occasions.  Now, flushed, we stumble through the wrecked town, and, singing and shouting with excitement, we stagger on to Mount Humperdink, as fast as we possibly can.

Professor Humperdink’s Diary