Juan complains that I deciphered the Humperdink code incorrectly, which is why we are in
, rather than Perth. However, after meeting Sara, he stops complaining and, after meeting her friends, Nina and Sudan Yana, he reminds me that Sudanese women are the most beautiful women in the world and that we should stay and meet them all. This is a wonderful idea, but I point out that we have to rescue Jock and Mahalath in Humperdinkestine, as well as the recruits that I abandoned in the , who are probably in a bad condition. Juan adds that we also have to find a cart and rescue Sally, his anaconda, that we are running short of Vintage Tamdhu, Glenmorangie, Cardhu and Strathisla Special Reserve, and, dwalingly behind schedule, we are unlikely to make opening time in the Cheeky Monkey, in Aberfeldy. Desert of Angad
We quickly overcome our disappointment by admiring stunningly attractive women. Cheering up, and admitting that I might have translated the Humperdink code correctly, Juan breaks opens barrels of Vintage Glencadam, Oban, Glenfiddich and Aberfeldy Private Reserve, to celebrate. Now, swinging the ladies in wild Pictish reels, singing ‘My Heart is Sair for the Spittal of Glenshee’ offering toast after toast to the health and happiness of all the women of Sudan, brawling and clapping and shouting with excitement, we gyrate on the spot, as fast as we possibly can.
Professor Humperdink’s Diary