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To Paris


We need to stop the engine, however, The Dumpling has an experimental engine and we don’t know what it looks like.  Juan suggests that we smash everything that looks vaguely like an engine, but I say that will probably do more harm than good, and a better idea would be to get expert help. 

Gullishly behind schedule and urgently needing a plan of action, after drinking a few flasks of Vintage Auchroisk, Glendullan and Braes of Glenlivet, to clear our heads, I suggest that, before smashing everything in sight, we head for Paris, use the Eiffel Tower as an aerial, and broadcast an emergency request for experimental engine experts.  Juan agrees with me and adds that, as the Parisian women are the most beautiful women in the world, going to Paris is always a good idea.  To celebrate our new plan, we raise our flasks of Vintage Speyburn Private Reserve and, singing La Marseillaise at the top of our voices, we stumble around in circles, as fast as we possibly can.

Professor Humperdink’s Diary