After drinking toast after toast to dirk makers and saluting the nobility of the claymore, we decide that, as it is too hot to continue fighting, to wait until nightfall before taking up arms again. Taking advantage of this break in the proceedings, we open a barrel of Duff’s Defiance Founder’s Reserve, for inspiration, and sketch some more waiting room chairs. Although I think my chairs are wonderful, Juan considers his chairs to be perfect, and we still can’t agree on a final design.
Before resuming combat, Juan points out that, in the great scheme of things, waiting room chairs are relatively insignificant and we should concentrate on making more vital equipment, such as drinking vessels for, when people are waiting for an interminably delayed train, having a decent drink is more important than the comfort, or otherwise, of the chairs. Accordingly, we quickly twist our dirks and daggers into cup shapes, and test them out with Vintage Aberfeldy Special Reserve. The cups work wonderfully, but, when it comes to returning to the fight, we don’t have a dirk between us and, after bashing each other with cups for a few hours, we realize that drinking utensils make inadequate weapons and, reluctantly, we call a truce. It goes against our natures to stop a good fight before its conclusion so, to cheer ourselves up, Juan opens a barrel of Vintage Highland Park Private Reserve and we spend the rest of the night singing and dancing and careening around in circles, as fast as we possibly can.
Professor Humperdink’s Diary