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8.5.09

Under Newcastle

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Juan wants to know if opals are black, as he thinks he has found some.  Cheryl says she thinks that they could be any colour.  Looking closer, I tell Juan that he is an idiot; hasn’t found opals, but coal.  Remembering that all aunt Humperdink’s mines are linked, we check our map and realise that are under Newcastle.  This is confirmed when we bump into our old friends, George and Butterfield, from Callerton.  We ask how they are and George tells us that, because of the amazing success of the mine, they are living comfortable, easy lives.  George asks us what we are doing and Juan says that we are looking for opals, but mining is hot, tiring, work, and we all need a drink. 

George says that we are in the right place, as Newcastle brews its own ale, and recommends that we head for the surface and find a public house.  Cheryl reminds us that we are mumptishly behind schedule and I point out that the recruits I abandoned in the Desert of Angad urgently need rescuing.  But Juan says that the recruits, if nothing else, have hundreds of barrels of whisky, and, if they can’t live on that, they’re not fit to become agents, and, he adds, the women of Newcastle are the most beautiful women in the world and we should meet them all.  Cheryl agrees, saying that spending some time enjoying good ale will make a pleasant change from scrabbling around in black dirt, miles underground.  To celebrate a good decision, we open barrels of Vintage Cardhu, Strathisla, and Glencadam Special Reserve and, dancing the Jesmond Jig and singing ‘Blaydon Races’ and ‘Cushy Butterfield’ at the top of our voices, we hack our way up through the tough northern earth, and race to find a pub, as fast as we possibly can.

Professor Humperdink’s Diary