On the way to the bar we bump into Alexandra. This is a very nice surprise; I introduce Juan to Alexandra, as this is the first time they have met. I am delighted to see her but, before we can catch up on the gossip, Juan throws himself at her feet and swears undying love. Alexandra, somewhat alarmed, tells Juan that, normally, people like to get to know each other before committing themselves to lifelong devotion. I explain to Alexandra that Juan is not normal but, in his defence, I add that we are dreggishly behind schedule and Juan has to act quickly. Leaving Juan pouring out his heart to the bemused princess, I arrange to meet them later, and call in to the library in the north wing, to ask directions.
I find that the library is empty and remember that, although aunt Humperdink’s libraries provide rare and wonderful books, the bars in aunt’s country clubs provide rare and wonderful single malts, which means that the club’s visitors and residents are more likely to be found in a bar than a library. Leaving the library, I pop my head into the club’s debating society where I find the parties involved in a lively debate regarding the merits of Vintage Tomatin, compared to the virtues of Vintage Blair Athol; I interrupt the discussion to ask for directions and tell them that Juan and Alexandra will be at the bar. As everybody is besotted with Alex and, as Juan owes everyone money, shouting and cheering with excitement, we race to the bar, as fast as we possibly can.
Professor Humperdink’s Diary