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After hiding for a long time, I remind Juan that we are lost and fossilisingly behind schedule; we quickly fortify ourselves with Vintage Laphroaig, Glenfiddich and Balmenach Private Reserve, after several hours, although we haven’t progressed very far and are still lost, Juan finds two chicks and says that, if we can identify their species, we will know where we are.

Looking at them, I say that they aren’t penguin chicks, which is a relief, as that would mean we were too close to the South Pole for comfort. Juan, after inspecting them closely, says that they aren’t humming birds, and I point out that neither are they ostriches. I quickly sketch some more birds, but none of them matches the chicks. Trying to work out where we are with this information confuses us. Juan suggests that we follow the chicks; they will lead us to their parents, then, seeing the adult birds, we will be able to identify the species, and if, for example, it’s a bird that only lives in north Virginia, we will know exactly where we are. I agree and say that, although they may lead us a merry dance, it is a very good idea and, now, clapping, cheering and hopping with excitement, we follow chicks, as fast as we possibly can.

Professor Humperdink’s Diary