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22.7.09

Missing the West End


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Haveringly behind schedule; missed the West End completely. Joining the commuters on their way to work, I found the London public transport system to be suitable only for cattle. To cheer all the passengers up, I open barrels of Vintage Tullibardine, Auchentoshan, Miltonduff and Glendullan Private Reserve. This does cheer everyone up, including the driver. After offering toast after toast to all commuters, everyone agrees that being treated like urban sheep is disgusting and we all need a day at the seaside. I give the driver a few diamonds, for his trouble, and distribute handfuls of gems to the passengers, to make up for lost wages then, cheering and singing and shouting with excitement, we head to Brighton, as fast as we possibly can.

Professor Humperdink’s Diary