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28.12.11

The big plume




Katie Good Quiver told Rory that all he needed to do was to look out for a big, black, plume, and this is good advice, but, because Rory is scared of flying, he is curled up in the back seat with his eyes shut and, even when we tell him that we can see a really big, black, plume, he doesn't believe us and refuses to open his eyes.

Looking down at destroyers, sending out plumes of black smoke, George asks me if the ships are on fire. I tell him that they are just deploying a smoke-screen. Albert says that it isn't a very good smoke-screen, in fact, it just attracts attention. Juan says that it might be a trick, and, although we can see the destroyers, the smoke might be concealing important, and big. Fatty tells us that Katie will have told the destroyers that we are sleethishly behind schedule and to send out smoke signals, to tell us that there's an Agency airship in the vicinity. To celebrate, we break open our Vintage Glenrothes, Interleven, Auchentoshan, and Highland Park Private Reserve, and fly over the destroyers, offering toast after toast to all the crew and wishing them the best of luck when, with their vision obscured by the smoke-screen, they all crash into each other, then, coughing and gasping, befuddled, confused, and blinded by acrid black smoke, we hurtle into the darkness, as fast as we possibly can.

Professor Humperdink's Diary